Anxiety is a funny thing. The best way I can describe it is this. Anxiety is a collection of words in your head. Jumbled words. Some of them fit together well,and make sentences and pictures that wrap around your chest in a way that stops you in your tracks, gasping for air. Others are words that don’t match with much of anything, but they keep trying. And so the words that have no match fly around and around in your head like finches in a cage, never really settling anywhere for very long. A jittery driving force that drains you of energy and leaves you too tired too function well but not tired enough tosleep or relax.
I am not fond of putting the words that do have a match to paper. I don’t like how people judge. How they take them and turn them, twist things to fit their view of the world and leave you shattered and still in the aftermath. And so I stay quiet.
It is New Years Eve. For those of you who understand and struggle with anxiety for whatever reason, as we all do one time or another, I wish you a new year filled with opportunities to speak your matching words. And lots of branches for your finches to settle.
